Chocolate Coffee (or Mocha for you ponces out there)

I’m gonna make a flurry of controversial statements by way of preface, hold on to your proverbial hat:

You damn hippies!
Ok, ok. Regardless of these facts, an ordinary guy like me periodically feels the need for a little milk-like substance. So we should consider the following:

  • Milk always spoils before you can use all of it
  • Soy Milk never spoils, but is not good in coffee. Quite good in cereal though
  • Hence, the only reason to keep milk in the house is for coffee.

Yes, I said it. If you want calcium, eat sunflower seeds or other nuts.

Now here’s my final fact:

  • Mocha coffee is better than normal coffee because it has chocolate in it

Q.E.D. Keep a box of Swiss Miss or similar hot cocoa mix (which has powdered milk mixed in with the chocolate) so that you can stir it into your coffee. This accheives the coveted Mocha effect AND eliminates the need for milk-like substance.


Of course, coffee inhibits your beloved calcium and the myriad negative effects of caffiene are well known at this point. Like that’s gonna stop you…


One Response to “Chocolate Coffee (or Mocha for you ponces out there)”

  1. David Says:

    That’s a good article on milk. So good, in fact, that it negates…what, 6000 years of human history? At least?

    Look, there are people who can’t digest it, and small children should be drinking people milk anyway. For everyone else, it tastes awesome and IS awesome. If it spoils, you haven’t been drinking enough.

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